I don’t know about anyone else – but I’m more then happy to send 2015 off with a square kick in the a**! Ha! This year has been intense! I walked into 2015 being advised that my actions needed to start meeting my words. That while I knew I wanted a change in my life, especially career wise, I was reminded that me, perched on a bar stool with a vodka water in hand, isn’t exactly the fastest way to get there! (Who woulda thunk 😉
For me personally it’s been a whirlwind of a year. It’s been exhausting, painful and liberating all at once. When I was pregnant I remember feeling like time itself had slowed. The 9 months just drug on, and yet once she came, I was like, wow – day to day it seemed like forever, but overall, it flew! 2015 felt like alot like that! I felt like I wasn’t making any progress, and when I did, I’d back step, stumble and trip myself 10 steps backwards, only to later be launched forward! Did I say whirlwind?
The world as a whole has endured alot this past year! Things have amped up tremendously and it’s been intense and scary to think of the direction that things could possibly go. From ISIS to politics to Ferguson to climate change it seems things are in disarray every way we turn. It’s hard to feel like we have any type of control over our lives, let alone believing the things we do attempt to do will have any impact!
It was a year of change for me personally, on a very different scale. I thought I had done so much healing over the past few years! I felt like I had worked so hard to overcome the obstacles and let go of the anger and grief, only to find out I had barely touched the surface. The layers have been never ending and each time I thought I could finally close another door, something more would show up with even more intensity!
It’s been a year of learning and letting go of SO many things outside of me. Whether it be people, thoughts, things, emotions or coping mechanisms, it was alot! I quit coffee and smoking, and significantly decreased my drinking. These were physical go-to’s I have relied on for well over 10 years, so they were big accomplishments in themselves! I’ve had to let go of control and be OK with taking leaps on account of blind faith. I had to let go of people that were comfort and routine, but weren’t helping me evolve. And learn that boundaries within relationships are OK too. I’ve had to try and let go of old thought patterns, and learned to start questioning more things, both in my life and the world as a whole. To see life from a different viewpoint. Learning to quiet my mind and mouth more often, and do more learning and appreciating then preaching and complaining. Letting go of anger and grief, on a deeper level and from a different perspective. Letting go of the ‘norm’ that society seems to encompass on us. Letting go of the need for outside approval and learning to trust myself. Alot more ‘bucking the system’ (which, let’s be real – I’ve always been great at 😉 but trying to do it without fear and guilt, anger and rage. Letting go of ‘default’ modes and being more aware and awake in all aspects.
As much as a pain in the ass this year has been, I feel like it’s been the ground work for what’s to come – for all of us! I hope it’s one of resolutions that are larger then just the same old ‘I’m going to loose 20 pounds’. I hope it’s one of more intention, a better outlining of where you really want to see change in your life, and more importantly – within yourself, not outside of yourself. I hope it’s one of goals on a larger scale and seeing that it begins within you. One that is geared more towards giving and less towards blaming. More towards healing your own inner demons and coping in a new way. Focusing more towards your passions instead of thinking you’re stuck in life. Remembering that we’re here to move forward, not stay stuck. That we aren’t bound to anything or anyone unless we tell ourselves that’s our only option. Reminding ourselves that we are worth more then we give ourselves credit for, that our past doesn’t own us and it’s up to us to resolve and let go of any anger, guilt or fear that may be surrounding it. I hope it’s one of less social media and more of being present with those standing in front of you. I hope it involves more quiet time for you to think and reflect and more focus on the things we are fortunate to have right in front of us. And although I still have a long road ahead of me, trying to implement this in all areas of my life, I’m really hoping 2016 is just plain BETTER and BIGGER!
I’d also like to give a BIG thanks to all of you who have taken the time to follow me and give me the positive feedback to keep me moving forward on this new endeavor! And a deserved shout out to Aimee, who gave me this advice last January which better put things into motion for me. For planting the seeds (and it actually resonating this time;) that in order to see the change, I have to be the change. Your help through the years has been a base of something that is finally coming into fruition – thank you for that 🙂 (check out her fantastic services at http://www.intuitiveaim.com/ )
SO, a big, fat PEACE OUT to 2015 – thanks for the lessons, but bring on a little more subtle and peaceful 2016 – eh?! 😉